


Stone Turned To Dust

by Baamon5evr



Category: The Flash (Comics), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fertility Issues, Grief/Mourning, Kidfic, Miscarriage, Other, Pregnancy, Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6094045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baamon5evr/pseuds/Baamon5evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The future isn't set in stone. Barry and Iris learn that the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stone Turned To Dust

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Westallen story or Flash story in general. Of course my first fic for this pairing would be angst but I tried to fix it up with the scene at the beginning and the end. Sorry for any pain you guys.

The first time Iris found out she was pregnant, she and Barry were bright-eyed and bushy tailed about it. They had been married only four months when they found out, a honeymoon baby her dad said with equal amounts fondness and disgust. Barry was over-the-moon ecstatic about it, even more so than Iris was to be honest. Of course she couldn't be happier. After much time, heartache and indecision, she was happy to be with Barry now and to be starting a family with him but he seemed too knowledgeable about everything from her symptoms of pregnancy to her cravings. He also seemed adamant in thinking that they were having twins even though the doctors had found nothing in her ultrasounds to point to such an outcome.

"Okay, spill." Iris said one day as Barry referred to them having to buy two of everything.

"Spill what?"

"Why are you so convinced that we're having twins even though we've known about this pregnancy all of two weeks and there is no evidence that says this womb is carrying more than one human?"

"I-I... I just have a feeling is all." Barry's voice was unnaturally high in that way it got when he was clearing hiding something.

"Oh, you just have a feeling, huh?" Iris responded, imitating his high pitched tone.

"I do not talk like that."

"You do talk like that when you try to hide things from me. You should know better than to try to lie to your wife, Mr. West-Allen, you know I'll find out what it is eventually." Barry sighed lightly.

"I kind of went into the future and met future you but I did it in the past, you know, before we got married. Before we got engaged actually. You were pregnant when I saw you then or soon, whatever. You were very pregnant, super pregnant, I mean like really--" Iris cut him off with a slap to the arm.

"Okay, I get it." She said, giggling slightly at his teasing and Barry chuckled a little before continuing.

"You went into labor while I was there and gave birth to twins."

"What year was this?"

"Other Iris wouldn't tell me. Why?"

"I ask because how do you know it was this pregnancy? Maybe it's another. Maybe we decided to recreate The Jackson 5 in the future. With your singing talents and my dance skills we could totally manage it. We could get Grodd to be a homicidal version of Bubbles for our breakout star kid."

"You know, funnily enough she didn't mention anything about that."

"An oversight on our part."

"It really is considering..."

"Considering?"

"We're thinking of naming our kids Dawn and Don." Iris was quiet for a moment.

"We're going to name our kids the same name?" She deadpans.

"Well, Dawn and Donald and we're just thinking over it. It's not set in stone yet."

"Creative in the future, aren't we? Well, let's just spend the next five months thinking of better names. Preferably more diverse ones."

"Agreed."

There is not much time to think of any names at all because in a month there will be no baby to talk about.

**~*~*~**

It took a week for Iris to drag herself out of bed after the miscarriage but she managed it. She went back to work at CCPN and kept moving on with her life. Barry took it hard but eventually they were back into the groove of their normal lives despite the underlying pain.

Six months later, she discovered she was pregnant again. Their reaction was the stark opposite of last time. Before there was complete joy. There is joy this time as well but also a lot of fear, an unhealthy dose of it. They found themselves in the doctor's office more days a week than not but the doctor reassured her that she was perfectly healthy and so was Barry. Sometimes things just happened but there was no reason that this pregnancy shouldn't be completely and totally normal.

She spent the next five months of her pregnancy worrying about things. She took time off of work and put herself on bed-rest, not daring to move. Barry tried to beg off of work as well but the city needed The Flash and Iris wasn't sure she could deal with him hovering all day long so she pushed him to get out of the house. Despite the doctor's reassurances that she didn't need to be on bed-rest Iris persisted until Felicity paid Central City a visit and dragged her out of bed. Felicity managed to calm her with her presence and blinding smile. Iris let herself relax and let Felicity drag her to Jitters.

"See? Aren't you glad you're not stuck in that room anymore and that you're enjoying the sun and fresh air? Not the literal sun of course because it's the dead of winter and it's snowing every day but you know." Felicity said as they sat at a table eating their apple crumble pies and drinking hot chocolates. The second Iris had stepped inside, the waitresses who recognized her flocked to her and immediately started waiting on her even though she had protested against it. Ultimately, she let them and resolved to enjoy her time out. Iris chuckled a little as Felicity continued babbling on. She hadn't changed at all.

"Yes, I get it Felicity."

"I am going to get us some whipped cream, for the pie of course. I'll be right back." She said, squeezing her hand before running off. Iris chuckled again, looking down at her plate and taking another bite of the delicious pie. She could get pie like this at home, she could ask Barry to pick some up for her or something, but it wouldn't be the same experience as sitting here in this atmosphere with friends she knew and loved. She leaned forward to grab her mug before stopping abruptly. There was a squelching sound under her that she barely registered above the sharp pain that shot through her abdomen. There was a painful fluttering in her stomach as well that she couldn't quite place. She looked up as Felicity came back and promptly dropped the can of whipped cream.

"Oh my god Iris, you're bleeding." Felicity flocked to her and started fretting over her. A waitress came by and noticed Iris before her eyes widened and she turned immediately to the counter and went to the phone.

"It's happening again, it's happening again." Iris mumbled to herself.

The ambulance came in record time but it was still too late.

**~*~*~**

Iris and Barry considered getting an abortion the next time she became pregnant. They were both terrified of going through the pain of a miscarriage again and they very nearly went through with it. They got the pamphlets, checked the clinics out, talked about it copiously but in the end Iris couldn't bring herself to go through with the procedure and Barry wouldn't force her to. She didn't particularly consider herself stronger or weaker than anyone else for not having an abortion, it just didn't feel right for her. She wanted a family with Barry and she had a chance. The Law of Averages had to catch up eventually, didn't it?

This time the doctor took their concerns seriously and Iris was sent to a facility to carry out her pregnancy with round-the-clock care. They passed the five-month mark with trepidation but despite a scare they did not lose the baby thanks to immediate medical attention.

When it was time and Iris went into labor, it was going well, surprisingly well. Barry was by her side holding her hand through it and the doctors coached her through the pain. It was going according to plan until a new pain hit Iris. It wasn't the painful pressure of shifting bones and muscles that became familiar the longer she was in labor. This pain was like something was grinding her insides in a blender.

"Stop! Stop pushing, Mrs. West-Allen." The doctor said. Iris had already stopped pushing and leaned back on the bed, her back arching at this unfamiliar agony.

"What's wrong? What's happening?" Barry asked frantically.

"She's hemorrhaging; we need to get to an operating room right now." The doctor said. Iris couldn't help the shout of pain that passed her lips as once again her insides were put through a meat grinder.

"We need to get her to emergency surgery. We can't wait."

The doctors and nurses wheeled Iris away after ordering Barry to remain where he was. Iris was put to sleep so she had no idea what was happening around her, what was wrong with her baby or with her.

When she finally woke, Barry and her father were there. They were both looking at her mournfully. Logically she knew what they were going to tell her but she still hoped against hope. Her entire being rebelled against the notion that her baby, her precious little girl, was anything other than perfectly healthy.

"Where's the baby?" She asked. Neither man spoke. They both looked askance, trying their hardest to avoid eye contact with her.

"Dad, where is she?" The detective looked down, wiping at his eyes. When he yielding no answers, she turned to her husband.

"Barry, I want to see her." The speedster sighed before looking her tearfully in the face.

"You- you can't see her, Iris."

"Why not?" She asked, her voice breaking over the words.

"She's gone."

"No." Iris shook her head firmly even as tears clouded her vision and took Barry's face out of focus.

"The doctors did everything they could--"

"No, it's not true."

"They couldn't get her heartbeat back."

"No, you're lying. I don't believe you." Barry stood up and approached her.

"Iris--" He said, trying to reach out to her but she flinched away.

"No, it can't be true."

"Iris, there's more. She was... she was vibrating when she was born. It shredded your uterus. There was so much blood, so much. They had to do a partial hysterectomy to save you." Iris' eyes widened. Not only was he telling her her baby was gone but she wasn't going to be able to have any more children. She was silent in her shock and Barry must have interpreted her quiet as blame because he immediately launched into apologies.

"I'm so sorry Iris. This is all my fault, _all_ my fault. I'm so sorry." Iris remained silent through Barry's apologies. She remained silent when he suddenly left the room and when her father embraced her. She was even quiet as she cried, letting the tears fall noiselessly. She had a dream of a future for herself and Barry, a beautiful future full of family. A house for them and their children, the twins he'd met in the future, but that went up in a puff of smoke. Their future, that future, was gone.

**~*~*~**

Iris has claimed to be many things but perfect isn't one of them. She has lauded herself as being awesome, amazing, clever, smart and beautiful with varying levels of confidence behind her words but she had never used the term 'perfect' because she knew she was only human. She was a fundamentally flawed person just like everyone else was and so there was a short time after their daughter died that Iris blamed Barry. She couldn't help it. His words rang in her head,

_'She was vibrating when she was born.'_

She’d seen Barry vibrate parts of his body. She has intimate knowledge of his abilities and so she thought it had to have something to do with him. Him being The Flash must have done something to their children to make it so they couldn't live their normal lives. Maybe it was because he went to the future and saw them, maybe he shouldn't have told Iris. Now their daughter was gone and Iris couldn't have children.

However, the blame passed quickly as she managed to grieve the loss of her daughter with the help of her family, her friends and Barry. He was there everyday doing any and everything she asked. She was numb in the beginning and didn't notice much beyond her grief, anger and blame. But as feeling slowly injected itself back into her body she started to notice Barry beyond the physical presence by her side. She noticed he wasn't eating as much as he should and that he was pushing himself too far in his activities as The Flash. She couldn't tell the last time she'd seen him sleep and if the bags and perpetual redness of his eyes were any indication, he hadn't been getting his eight hours while she slept, however without peace her slumber was.

They didn't talk very much lately, mostly because Iris hadn't wanted to speak to him. He talked and she listened. Sometimes she gave one word answers but as interest gripped her once again she found she wanted to talk to Barry. She wanted to talk about their daughter because ignoring it would't make them forget that she was ever a reality, a world of possibility for them that closed abruptly. She wanted to talk about mundane things with him. She wanted to know about his day, what he ate, who he talked to, if Captain Singh was any nicer today than the day before, the bad guys he nabbed as the Flash, if Captain Cold and his sister made an appearance lately, if her Dad had been hovering around him the way he was doing with her when he visited. She wanted to talk about deep things with him. She wanted to know his mental state, how he was coping, if he was been coping at all, if he was grieving their daughter or ignoring his grief. She wanted all of the words and the emotions she just knew he was keeping pent up inside of his head. She wanted them verbalized to her. She wanted to be his sounding board. She wanted to be the crutch he needed if he was not able to stand on his own. She wanted to be his wife in the active sense of the word.

She wanted Barry, period.

That revelation was nothing new to her but in the wake of this tragedy it was everything she could cling to.

She woke early one morning only to hear Barry in the bathroom adjoining their room. He was hissing and cursing slightly under his breath but loud enough for her to hear. She slipped out of bed, shuffled to the bathroom door and peeked through the crack. Barry was shaving, or trying to. What space on his face that was clear sported two bleeding nicks. They would be gone in fifteen minutes tops, but Iris still felt compelled to push her way into the bathroom and grab a wet cloth in order to clean the little drops of blood from Barry's face.

"I didn't mean to wake you." Iris shook her head at him and shrugged. After whipping the blood off his face, she gently took the razor from him and motioned to the toilet.

"You don't have to--" He began to say in protest but she gave him a stern look, indicating the toilet seat once again.

Barry sighed but sat on the lid with no further protest. Iris nudged his legs open so she could stand between them and held his face up so she could shave him without hindrance. They were quiet as she went about it. She couldn't ask him any of the questions bouncing around in her head. She wanted to hear Barry's voice but she would rather not nick him again while she was at it. So she said nothing. Instead she took in his face. He was not looking her in the eye but she observed him anyway, the way his cheeks were stretched just that bit more over his cheekbones, the new lines on his face, the scar on his forehead he got from one of Tony’s little shows of strengths in middle school. He was still her Bear, just a little wearier. That was okay because she was wearier too. They were still Barry and Iris. They could get through this together as long as they remembered what being Barry and Iris meant. It meant they were best friends who spoke to each other about everything that mattered to them. Iris had lost sight of that but she wasn’t going to let it go now.

Once she was finished shaving his face clear and used the wet cloth to clean the excess shaving cream off, Barry stood up and made to walk out of the bathroom but Iris grabbed his hand and stopped him. She stared at her husband's face as he looked back at her inquiringly. His pallor was paler than usual, his face gaunter than normal. His eyes were dull and lacked their usual spark. She knew why but it also made her determined to fix this. She couldn't bring their daughter back but she knew it wasn't just grief weighing on him, it was guilt as well.

Barry Allen, perpetual pack mule for every problem that existed in the world.

She knew that about him going in and she probably would agree with his guilt two weeks ago but now that her sense had outweighed her sadness, she knew it was not Barry's fault and she needed him to know that as well.

"Iris? Are you okay?" Barry asked as she continued staring without saying anything. Iris moved closer to Barry slowly, standing on her tiptoes until she was very nearly staring at him eye to eye and they were breathing the same air.

"Iris, what are you--"

"I love you."

"Iris--"

"You know that right? Tell me you know that." Barry's eyes flicked away from her face to beyond her shoulder.

"I love you, Barry."

"I know."

"Good." Iris pulled his face to hers and kissed him. She poured as much of herself, of her unnecessary forgiveness and love and longing and need into it. When she pulled away Barry was looking at her with a slightly dazed and confused expression but the guilt was still there, the self-blame was there. She would just have to fix that.

**~*~*~**

Barry started using condoms after that, the times he touched her at all that was. She would have to all but order him to get into bed and even then there was a hint of fear the few times they had sex. He had even not-so-secretly bought birth control pills and put them in her medicine cabinet behind the band aids. She didn't need any form of birth control because she couldn't physically get pregnant again. She knew why he did it though. She knew he didn't want to leave the slightest .0001% chance she could become pregnant and go through the pain a fourth time. She did not want him to live in this self-blame, in this guilt, in this agony when he didn't have to so she reached out to his team at STAR labs. She let them do their tests on her and the samples left over from her first two pregnancies and from their daughter that the hospitals had retained. She underwent her mission without telling Barry but she did tell him once she got news that the results were ready for them.

"You should've told me you were getting tests done. I should've been there with you."

"Well Barry, if you were there with me all I would've heard from you is how it's all your fault. The point of my tests were to prove that it wasn't."

"Iris--"

"Let's go see what they found out at the Labs and then you'll see what I already know."

It didn't go quite according to plan.

Caitlin was the one that explained it to them.

("Everyone else felt uncomfortable. They thought you'd want to hear it from someone closer to you guys." She would later tell them.)

Iris could tell the minute Caitlin walked in that it wouldn't be anything particularly good that she was going to say.

"Just tell us, Caitlin." Barry said. He sounded like a man waiting for an ax to fall on his head.

"The babies' genes show that they had the speed-force. They inherited your speed, Barry. Once they reached a certain development stage however, the speed-force started to respond to outside forces. It could be anything really. Stress, movement, intense mood such as happiness or sadness or even just a food that you eat. The speed-force got triggered and well, with the first two fetuses they had nowhere to go and they weren't fully developed yet. Their hearts couldn't take the strain of their bodies trying to move so fast and they... they didn't make it to viability. With your daughter, the strain and stress of birth triggered the speed-force. Even though she wasn't trapped in the womb, her heart couldn't handle the speed at which it was beating and it gave her a heart attack."

"So it is my fault." Barry said after a moment of silence, pulling his hand out of Iris'.

"No, Barry, that's not--"

"They got the speed-force from me, not Iris. They died because of me."

"Barry, wait. Just hear her out with--" Iris tried to get his attention but he walked from the room briskly before she could. She turned back to Caitlin who was staring at her with sympathy and understanding clear in her eyes.

"That wasn't the answer you wanted, huh?"

"Honestly, I would've been happier if it turned out there was something wrong with me. I wanted to have real, hard evidence for Barry that it wasn't his fault. Instead I got hard evidence that he can use to blame himself even more."

"You know, when Ronnie and I were trying to have a baby it was really hard, especially when we realized the firestorm genes weren't helping matters at all. Eventually with hard work and patience and support from everyone here at the lab we finally had our son. Even though he's adopted, he is no less our child. Barry is going through a rough patch. You just have to talk to him, tell him it's not his fault enough times and eventually he'll start to believe it. If you need anything, a shoulder or an ear or a brain to help you puzzle things out I'm here for you." Iris smiled at her friend in thanks.

"Thanks for everything, Caitlin. Even though it's not what I wanted to hear, I really appreciate your help." The other woman nodded before scrunching her nose.

"I feel a hug is necessary now." Iris laughed before holding her arms open and letting Caitlin hug her tightly.

"I've got a husband to go talk off a ledge but thank you again Caitlin."

"No thanks required, you go ahead and get your man."

**~*~*~**

Iris found Barry in their spot on the roof of Jitters. She still had her key after all these years and still found her way to this roof when she had time. Barry was stood on the edge of the roof looking out at the city in front of them.

"You remember Tyler Kennex?" He asked as she walked closer. Her steps faltered in her confusion as her mind went back, tracing the name.

"Tyler Ken-- my freshman year boyfriend from college? Yeah, I remember him. What about him?"

"I ran into him the other day, him and his son. Your ex-boyfriend Scott is married with a one year old, Richie has a three year old son, Yancy has a baby girl, Matt--"

"Barry, why are you telling me this?" Iris inquired, stopping him.

"If you were with any of them instead of me, you would have that family you want right now."

"Barry--" Barry turned to face her then and his face was red from the tears he held back, the pain more pronounced than ever before.

"Iris, I am your husband. I am supposed to provide you with everything you want and I am the reason why we can't have a baby, why you can't have a baby ever. You held up your part of the bargain, I'm the one holding you back, I'm the one who took our future from us."

"Bargain? Barry, there is no bargain. We're married, we made vows to each other, promises, not bargains. I don't care if my former boyfriends are ranked among America's most fertile men. I love you, I choose you and I don't like what it's saying you think about me that you think I care about or would leave you because I may have had a better chance of having kids with my ex-boyfriends."

"What it says is that I love you more than anything. More than myself, more than being The Flash, more than anything I have ever known and I am putting you through pain. I killed our kids before they even had a chance to live a life. We were supposed to be happy, we were supposed to have a family, we were supposed to have twins and have this amazing life together. I don't understand what went wrong, I don't understand what I changed about the future but whatever it is, I'm sorry Iris. I'm so sorry for doing this to you." Iris felt tears welling up in her eyes as Barry stood before her with tears streaking down his face and pain and guilt clear in his voice.

"Do you know what I understand? I understand you. I understand us. Barry..." Iris reached up and held his face between her hands gently.

"Bartholomew Henry West-Allen, I have been in love with you since before I even knew enough that what I felt was love. Before you left for college, before you came back, before junior prom and senior prom, before the nights we stayed up talking to each other. Honestly, I fell in love with you that first day we met each other at the park and you offered me a swing when Tony and his friends hogged all the other ones. I still remember that look of indignation and defiance on your face when they told me to get lost and I still remember exactly what I thought 'this boy might be slightly less stupid than all of the other boys I've met.'" Barry chuckled wetly.

"Just slightly less stupid." He repeated in agreement.

"I don't know what changed the future, maybe one day we'll have our twins. Maybe not the ones from the future but we'll have them or maybe we won't. We don't need to have a family right now but just because I can't get pregnant doesn't mean we'll never have one. We can adopt children, there are plenty of kids who need a home. Caitlin and Ronnie did it and we can do it too. Right now, though? All I need is you, Bear. You are everything I want. I want us to be us again. I want you to let me in, tell me everything that's going on in your mind, I'm not afraid of hearing it. I know who I married. You're my best friend, I just want to talk to you. Even if you don't believe this, you're enough for me." Barry looked up briefly as if searching the sky for answers before he looked back at her, a hint of wonder and disbelief now present in his eyes. She pulled him close to her and embraced him tightly. She could feel his shoulders start shaking and his tears fell against her skin but he was not as tense as he had been before they had this talk with each other.

"And please don't ever suggest that I should leave you or find someone else ever again." Barry nodded against her shoulder before wrapping his arms around her back tightly.

There were still wounds within him, still hurt and pain between them but this was a start.

**~*~*~**

Saint Agnes’ Orphanage wasn't exactly the sunniest place in the world but that was expected of an orphanage. Barry and Iris, after two years of waiting, had finally made an appointment at this orphanage through Wally’s recommendation. They had been moved ahead in their appointment to check children out because they were willing to adopt siblings of varying ages, not just babies. It felt a little strange, walking past children and checking them out one by one like they were grocery shopping and looking for the perfect apple. Iris walked past an empty bed but saw a foot sticking out from under it. She stopped and made to peer under the mattress but the nun stopped her.

"You don't want those ones. Unruly." The woman spoke with such vehement disgust about children that Iris felt her hackles raise.

"I think we'll make that decision, thank you." She replied, her face and tone perfectly polite but her eyes cold. The nun's eyes widened slightly before she nodded and walked some steps away. Barry went to the right side of the bed as Iris kneeled by the left side. She peeked under the sheet to see a girl laying there. She looked to be in the 10-12 age range, had long black braided hair and skin just a shade darker than Iris. She held a toddler in her arms of about two years old. He was lighter skinned than her with bright green eyes as opposed to the girl's brown eyes. There was someone else at the girl's back, another girl, smaller in size and with her back to Iris while she talked to Barry.

"Hi." Iris said in greeting.

"Hello." The girl said warily.

"Having fun down here?" Iris asked, a joking edge to her words. The girl shrugged.

"It's not so bad, I cleaned the spiders out so..."

"I used to hide under my bed whenever I did something really bad and wanted to avoid punishment. Never really worked, my dad always found me anyway."

“Maybe you didn’t hide well enough.”

“Maybe or maybe I wanted to be found, child Iris did some weird things.” The girl looked almost like she wanted to ask more about that but instead snapped her mouth shut. Her face twisted from curiosity to defiance faster than Barry ran.

“Look lady, let’s cut to the chase. You don’t want to adopt either of these kids.”

“I don’t?”

“No, this kid here, he drools on everything, and I mean everything, he’s like a Saint Bernard.” She said indicating the baby in her arms.

“And her? She has a horrible lisp and she stutters, it’s super annoying, you’ll get bored of it once it’s novelty wears off, trust me, it’s happened before.” Iris felt equal parts amusement at the girl trying to convince her not to adopt her and her siblings and indignation that a child could be returned to life in an orphanage simply for having a lisp and a stutter.

“And you?”

“Me? What about me?” The girl asked with confusion.

“Why wouldn’t I want to adopt you?”

“What are you talking about, lady? I’m too old to be adopted.” The girl said with confusion.

“You’re not too old to be adopted until you’re 18 years old and you don’t look like you’re quite that old despite how mature you sound.” The girl seemed even more confused and kind of upset.

“But the nuns said I wouldn’t be adopted because people only want babies or little kids.”

“I won’t lie and say that’s not what most people are looking for but my husband and I over there, we want to open our home to multiple children, maybe children like you and your siblings, if you want of course.”

“Why did you stop here? There are lots of other kids out there looking their best already and hoping to be adopted and you come to the one kid who doesn’t want to be?”

“Yeah, I’m different that way.”

“You’re strange, lady.”

“Says the girl laying under the bed.” The girl cracked a small smile and then quickly tried to hide it, kissing the toddler’s head when that didn’t work.

“I’m Iris.” She said once the girl looked her in the eye again. She stared for a moment seeming to contemplate whether or not to tell her her name.

“I’m Eve. This is my brother, Dominic and that’s my sister Clara.”

“Nice to meet you Eve, would you like to come out so I could speak to you in the light?”

“… not really.”

“I go with her.” The toddler said, speaking up finally, pointing at Iris. He was unnaturally quiet up to that point, quieter than most kids his age.

“No Dom, you’re staying here.” The toddler squirmed slightly against his sister, reaching out to Iris. She smiled in response and held her hand out to the boy so he could hold it and he latched on immediately and held her hand tightly before going right back to his cocoon of quiet contemplation. She wondered what he was thinking of so deeply but left him to it.

“So what do you like to do?”

“Are you serious? What are you doing?”

“Getting to know you.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to, because you interest me, because I care.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I don’t have to know you to care.” Eve contemplated this for a moment and though she seemed unsure she slowly started listing off some hobbies to Iris. She met Barry’s gaze briefly above Eve’s shoulder and he gave her a small smile before returning to his conversation with Clara. Iris stayed on her knees speaking with Eve until her knees hurt from the floors surface and her neck ached at the angle she had it tilted at in order to see the children properly. Both she and Barry would’ve stayed longer if the nun hadn’t come for them.

“Unfortunately, your appointment is over.”

“Okay, well would it be okay if we came to see you tomorrow? You could meet and talk to my husband Barry then and I can talk to Clara.”

“I guess you can come back, I mean I’m not going to tell you what to do but I’m also not going to be on that bed when you come either.”

“Well, I’ll just bring a pillow for my knees.” Eve’s eyes assessed her with disbelief and confusion once again. She wondered what happened beyond the dismissal of the nuns that made Eve so surprised at Iris’s interest in her but she knew the feeling in her chest wasn’t just some temporary thing, she felt light talking to Eve, her heart lifted and soared and she already felt the roots of love growing in her. She knew this could be her family, her children one day, her shot at her happy ending and she was going to fight for it even if that meant convincing a little girl to let her adopt her and her siblings. Iris had faced worst odds and come out on top.

She squeezed Dom’s hand lightly and gave Eve a smile before she stood up and dusted off her dress. Soon enough Barry was standing up with a smile on his face dusting his pants off. She walked over to his side and looked to the nun as Barry slid an arm around her waist.

“We’d like to make an appointment to see Eve, Clara and Dominic again as soon as possible.”

“And you’re sure you want--”

“What we’d really like right now is for you to schedule the appointment and get back to us as soon as possible, please and thank you.” Barry said, cutting off the nun’s next, no doubt, disparaging word about the children Barry and Iris had chosen.

“Of course, we have your information and we’ll contact you as soon as we can.” The two nodded before they followed the nun out of the room, Iris turned back last minute and saw Clara for the first time, she was looking Iris over curiously and blushed deeply when she waved at her.

“That went better than I expected.” Barry said once they were outside.

“Yeah, it did. I mean this whole process won’t be easy but we can do this, right?”

“Of course, we’ll do it together.” Barry said reassuringly. Iris smiled up at him.

“That was a test and you passed.” Barry laughed lightly at that.

“Well, thank god for that.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers and Iris could taste the happiness on them, it was a sweet taste coming from Barry. After everything that had happened, all the pain that they had endured, Iris felt like it was looking up more than ever before, her family was right at her fingertips, just a few months down the line and some signed papers away. She could taste it, she could see her life, her family, her home full of love and warmth and she knew that no matter the future that was taken from them the future she could envision wasn’t one she was willing to trade in this moment.


End file.
